The Merits of Ayesha from the Pen of her Advocates
In this chapter, we will discuss the following claims by the Nawasib:
- First claim – Was Ayesha the most superior wife of Rasulullah (s)?
- Second Claim – Were Abu Bakr and Ayesha the most beloved of Rasulullah (s)?
- Third Claim – Does the title of ‘Umahat ul Momineen’ given to the wives of the Holy Prophet (s) evidence Ayesha’s personal merit or guarantees her immunity from criticism?
First claim – Was Ayesha the most superior wife of Rasulullah (s)?
Abu Sulaiman stated:
There is no doubt that Aysha is the best among the wives of the prophet peace be upon him because all true narrations indicate such a thing. Examples are found in Saheeh Bukhari and Muslim.
Reply One – The most excellent of the women of all worlds were four, that included Khadija (as) not Ayesha
Imam Ahmed records:
Anas narrated that the prophet (s) said: “The most excellent of the women of all worlds are: Mary the daughter of Imran, Khadija the daughter of Khuwaylid, Fatimah the daughter of Muhammad, and Asiya the wife of Pharaoh”
Shaykh Shoib al-Arnaut stated:
‘Sahih on the conditions of two Shaykhs’
We also read:
Ibn Abbas narrates that Rasulullah (s) made four lines on the earth, then He (s) said to his companions, ‘Do you know what is this?’ They replied: ‘Allah and his messenger know best’. He (s) replied: ‘The most excellent of the women of Paradise are Khadija the daughter of Khuwaylid, Fatimah the daughter of Muhammad, Asiya the wife of Pharaoh, and Mary the daughter of Imran’
Shaykh Shoib al-Arnaut stated:
‘The Chain is Sahih, the narrators are reliable (Thuqat), narrators of Sahih (books)’
Reply Two – Ayesha’s jealousy of Khadija (as) is clear proof that she was not the most beloved wife
In Sahih Bukhari, Volume 5 Tradition 166, Ayesha herself narrates:
“I did not feel jealous of any of the wives of the Prophet as much as I did of Khadija though I did not see her, but the Prophet used to mention her very often, and whenever he slaughtered a sheep, he would cut its parts and send them to the women friends of Khadija. When I sometimes said to him, “(You treat Khadija in such a way) as if there is no woman on earth except Khadija,” he would say, “Khadija was such-and-such, and from her I had children.”
According to Wikipedia “Jealousy typically refers to the negative or angry thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of insecurity, fear, and anxiety that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival, or when another person is perceived to have some type of advantage” . Jealousy is a trait inherent in a person who is envious of the superior position of another, and Ayesha’s admission “I did not feel jealous of any of the wives of the Prophet as much as I did of Khadija”, is clear proof that Ayesha was fully aware of the superior rank of Khadija. Had Ayesha indeed been the most superior wife there would have been no need for her to be jealous.
These four women are the most superior in rank amongst women. Only one wife of Rasulullah (s) is selected in this group and that wife is Khadija (as) NOT Ayesha. This tradition PROVES that Khadija is the MOST superior amongst Rasulullah’s wives. If Ayesha was, then why did Rasulullah (s) not elevate her to the station of Leaders of women in Paradise?
Reply Three – Sunni Report: Ayesha’s barren status precludes her from being the most superior wife of the Prophet (s)
Ghazzali in his famed work Ihya Ulum id Din, Volume 2 page 24 records as follows:
“The Prophet said…”Among your women, a lovely woman producing many children is better than a childless woman. He said: An ugly woman with children is better than a beautiful woman having no children”
Comment
If (according to these Sunni narrations) a fertile woman is better than a barren on, and the ability to bear children is a mark of superiority, then Ayesha’s inability to conceive children automatically means that Khadija (sa) was superior on account of her ability to bear children.
Reply Four – Ayesha’s bad manners and blasphemous outbursts destroy the notion of her being the best wife of the Prophet (s)
Having good manners is one of the themes found continually throughout the Quran and Sunnah and this is the first aspect that proves the importance of good manners. If adults impress on children the importance of good manners at a young age, they shall seek to adhere to such principles in later life. It is indeed tragic that Ayesha who (according to Sunnis) benefited from the company of the Prophet from the age of six, failed to grasp the importance of manners. Here are just a few snapshots of her mannerisms when rowing with her husband.
First outburst
We read in Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 155:
Narrated Aisha:
That Allah’s Apostle said to her, “I know when you are pleased with me or angry with me.” I said, “Whence do you know that?” He said, “When you are pleased with me, you say, ‘No, by the Lord of Muhammad,’ but when you are angry with me, then you say, ‘No, by the Lord of Abraham.’ ” Thereupon I said, “Yes (you are right), but by Allah, O Allah’s Apostle, I leave nothing but your name.”
Whilst the tradition speaks for itself, we would like to pose some questions:
- Why would Ayesha deem it necessary to be angry with the Prophet (s)?
- Was such anger linked to some religious matter or a worldly one?
- How many days would Ayesha remain angry?
- Would the revelation continue during this period or would it cease?
- What was the precise logic in Ayesha substituting the Lord of Muhammad with the Lord of Abraham?
- If she was angry would she offer Salat during that time?
- If so would she omit the name of the Prophet (s) in Tashahud?
- After entering the Deen is any individual entitled to be angered at the Prophet (s) to the extent that they can omit his name?
- Did any other wives behave in such a manner?
- If other wives behaved likewise, can any reliable texts be submitted as evidence?
- If no other wife did, was such behavior particular to Ayesha?
- Considering Ayesha’s fiery and irrational temper can such a reaction ever truly be justified?
Second outburst
Imam of Ahl’ul Sunnah Abdul Hamid Ghazzali records the following in his classic Ihya Ulum-id-din:
Once there was an altercation between the Prophet and Ayesha when they found Abu Bakr as judge. Hazrat Ayesha said to the Prophet: ‘You speak but don’t speak except truth. At once Abu Bakr gave her such a slap that blood began to ooze out from her mouth’.
The title ‘Sadiq’ was one that dated back to the time of jahilyya, and was a testament to the fact that the pagan Arabs recognized that Muhammad (s) son of Mustafa was a man that always spoke the truth. Now compare this recognition to the conduct of Ayesha who was appealing to the conscience of her husband, demanding that he speak truthfully before her father that was there as a an arbiter between the feuding couple. Are such manner becoming of the wife of the Prophet (s)? Her anger is such that she even questions whether the Prophet (s) may seek to influence a decision by fabricating events obtain a decision in his favour. This behavior so angered Abu Bakr that he subjected her to a physical; assault, as a result of which she received a bloody mouth.
third outburst
Sadly as Ghazzali notes, this was not a one off blasphemous outburst, we note how on another occasion she said as follows:
وقالت له مرة في كلام غضبت عنده أنت الذي تزعم أنك نبي الله
“It is you who pretend to be a prophet from Allah.”
Ihya Ulum-id-din [Arabic], Volume 2 page 43
We appeal to justice, is such an outburst conduct becoming of the best wife of the Prophet (s)? If it is not bad enough that she refuses to refer to her husband as the Prophet of Allah (swt) when angry, on this occasion she commits open kufr against him. We would urge our readers to dispassionately look at this reference. Whilst we are not in any way suggesting that spousal disharmony can never occur in the marital home, both partners will always ensure that whatever they say remains within boundaries to ensure that matters do not get to a more serious level, as such they will always have the feelings of their spouse in mind, knowing that there is a limit to what they can say, no matter how angry they get. Boundaries governing such disputes are very much linked to general rules of decorum, the entire landscape changes when the spouse is Rasulullah (s). The wives of the Prophet (s) cannot simply view him (s) as an ordinary husband, that can thus entitle them to vent anger and frustration towards him from time to time, he is at all times their Prophet (s) and as such the right he has over them and the respect that they must afford him is due to his being the select Prophet of Allah (swt). Whilst rowing with one’s husband might breach rules of decorum, such conduct is not regulated by the Shariah per se, the same cannot be said of a spouse rowing with Rasulullah (s), her actions will always be adjudged against her duties (as a believer) towards the Prophet (s) as stipulated in the Quran. Any conduct that falls below the duties placed on the believer will be a gross sin in the eyes of Allah (swt), and would breach the plethora of verses that regulate the manner in which the believers interact with the Prophet (s). Allah (swt) says in Surah Hujurath ‘O you who believe do not raise your voices in front of the Prophet” – this is a duty imposed on the believer, does it not apply to the Mother of the Believers? Speaking loudly risks all deeds of the believer being quashed, how can one judge a wife whose anger plunges her to such depths that she refuses to refer to him as the Prophet (s) and worse, on one occasion labels him a charlatan Prophet (s)? Is such blatant kufr conduct becoming of a woman that Ansar.Org insist was the most superior wife of the Prophet (s)? We see no evidence of any other wife conducting herself in such an atrocious manner, so how can she be deemed as the most superior wife of the Prophet (s)?
Clearly Ayesha’s manners as demonstrated from the above examples fell far below the standards that Allah (swt) and his Prophet (s) would expect, after all he (s) stated:
Narrated ‘Abdullah bin ‘Amr: “The Prophet never used bad language neither a ‘Fahish nor a Mutafahish. He used to say ‘The best amongst you are those who have the best manners and character.’
Sahih Bukhari, Virtues and Merits of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and his Companions, Volume 4, Book 56, Number 759
Sadly despite so many years sitting in the company of the Prophet (s), Ayesha was unable to control her tongue. One such example can be found in Sahih Bukhari Volume 8, Book 73, Number 57:
Narrated ‘Abdullah bin Mulaika:
‘Aisha said that the Jews came to the Prophet and said, “As-Samu ‘Alaikum” (death be on you). ‘Aisha said (to them), “(Death) be on you, and may Allah curse you and shower His wrath upon you!” The Prophet said, “Be calm, O ‘Aisha ! You should be kind and lenient, and beware of harshness and Fuhsh (i.e. bad words).” She said (to the Prophet), “Haven’t you heard what they (Jews) have said?” He said, “Haven’t you heard what I have said (to them)? I said the same to them, and my invocation against them will be accepted while theirs against me will be rejected (by Allah). ”
Rasulullah (s) disliked the use of bad words towards his enemies, which is why he rebuked Ayesha, but as we shall evidence in a later chapter, she could not even control her tongue when remonstrating with another mother of the believers!
Reply Five - Ayesha the recidivist backbiter could never attain the rank of the best of believers
Islam deems backbiting to be a trait so abominable that Allah (swt) and his Messenger (s) singled out as conduct that a believer should steer clear of. Allah (swt) says in Surah Hujuraat verse 12:
يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ ٱجۡتَنِبُواْ كَثِيرً۬ا مِّنَ ٱلظَّنِّ إِنَّ بَعۡضَ ٱلظَّنِّ إِثۡمٌ۬ۖ وَلَا تَجَسَّسُواْ وَلَا يَغۡتَب بَّعۡضُكُم بَعۡضًاۚ أَيُحِبُّ أَحَدُڪُمۡ أَن يَأۡڪُلَ لَحۡمَ أَخِيهِ مَيۡتً۬ا فَكَرِهۡتُمُوهُۚ وَٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ تَوَّابٌ۬ رَّحِيمٌ۬
O ye who believe! Shun much suspicion; for lo! some suspicion is a crime. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Ye abhor that (so abhor the other)! And keep your duty (to Allah). Lo! Allah is Relenting, Merciful.
The loquacious hero of the English speaking Salafi world, Bilal Philips in his commentary of the above verse states:
“Backbiting has also been opposed by painting it in repulsive terms. In this Allaah compares it to eating the flesh of one’s dead brother. Just as we find the though of eating one’s dead brother’s flesh repulsive, we should also find the though of backbiting repulsive for they are equivalent. Allaah also had his Prophet (s) bring this simile to life through a heart wrenching miracle. ‘Ubayd, the freed slave of the Prophet (s) reported that someone came and showed the Prophet 9s) two women who were fasting and said that they were dying of thirst. The Prophet (s) turned away silently refusing to give permission for them to break their fast. So the man begged him again mentioning that the women were on the verge of death. The Prophet (s) then said, “Bring them to me and bring along a vomit in the bowl.” When they came to him, he turned to one and told her to vomit in the bowl. She complied spitting up a mixture vomit, blood, pus and pieces of flesh which half filled the bowl. He then turned to the other and had her do the same. After the bowl was filled, he said, “Verily, these two have fasted from what Allaah has made Halaal for them and broke fast from what Allaah has made Haraam. They spent their fast eating the flesh of others” [Collected by Ahmad].
We read in Sahih Muslim Book 032, Number 6265:
Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: Do you know what is backbiting? They (the Companions) said: Allah and His Messenger know best. Thereupon he (the Holy Prophet) said: Backbiting implies your talking about your brother in a manner which he does not like. It was said to him: What is your opinion about this that if I actually find (that failing) in my brother which I made a mention of? He said: If (that failing) is actually found (in him) what you assert, you in fact backbited him, and if that is not in him it is a slander.
We read in Sunan Abu Dawud, Book 40, Number 4878:
Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said: When I was taken up (on the night journey), I passed by some people who had nails of copper scraping their faces and chests. I said, “Who are these, O Gabriel?” He said, “These are the ones who consumed people’s flesh and maligned their honor.”
Backbiting can have a detrimental affect on those being spoken about and society in general, which is why the penalties for it are so severe. Bilal Philips comments:
“The law of Islaam has placed stiff penalties on backbiting which involve serius lies. In the Qur’aan, Allaah has stated that “Those who accuse chaste women (of illicit sex) and fail to produce four witnesses should be given eighty lashes”. When this verse was revealee, the Prophet ordered that two Sahaabahs, Hassaan ibn Thaabit and Mistah ibn Uthaathah, and a Sahaabeeyah, Hamnah biny Jahsh, be lashed for slandering the Prophet’s wife Aaeshah”. Tafseer Soorah al-Hujraat, page 105
Having herself been a victim of backbiting one would have assumed that Ayesha would have sought her utmost to steer clear from this trait, unfortunately her personal experience did not hinder her in any way. Sadly when we look at the life of Ayesha this was a trait that she possessed and exhibited on several documented occasions. On one occasion it attracted the rebuke of Allah (swt) , we read as follows in Tafseer Qurtubi, volume 16 page 326:
قال المفسرون: نزلت في ٱمرأتين من أزواج النبيّ صلى الله عليه وسلم سَخِرتا من أمّ سلمة، وذلك أنها ربطت خَصْرَيْها بسَبِيبة ـ وهو ثوب أبيض، ومثلها السِّبّ ـ وسدلت طرفيها خلفها فكانت تجرها؛ فقالت عائشة لحفصة رضي الله عنهما: ٱنظري! ما تجرُّ خلفها كأنه لسان كلب؛ فهذه كانت سخريتهما.
“The commentators on Quran said this verse was revealed about two of the Prophet’s wives that mocked Um Salama, when she tied a veil around her waist and she let the tip of the veil hang down behind her; Ayesha therefore said to Hafsa: Look! what is behind her, it looks like a dog’s tongue. and that was her mockery”
Whilst in this example Ayesha chose to backbite about a fellow wife of the Prophet (s) that passed by her, even the late wife of the Prophet (s) was not protected from her backbiting, as can be evidenced by Sahih Bukhari Volume 5, Book 58, Number 168:
Narrated ‘Aisha: Once Hala bint Khuwailid, Khadija’s sister, asked the permission of the Prophet to enter. On that, the Prophet remembered the way Khadija used to ask permission, and that upset him. He said, “O Allah! Hala!” So I became jealous and said, “What makes you remember an old woman amongst the old women of Quraish an old woman (with a teethless mouth) of red gums who died long ago, and in whose place Allah has given you somebody better than her?”
On another occasion her backbiting attracted the ire of the Prophet (s) as recorded in Tafsir al-Tabari, volume 26 page 177 that has been declared authentic by al-Iraqi in Takhrij al-Ehya, page 1037:
حدثنا ابن ابي الشوارب قال ثنا عبدالواحد بن زياد قال ثنا سليمان الشيباني قال ثنا حسان المخارق أن امرأة دخلت على عائشة فلما قامت لتخرج أشارت عائشة بيدها إلى النبي أي أنها قصيرة فقال النبي اغتبتيها
Hasan Ibin Al Makhaariq reported that “Once a woman visited Ayesha and when the woman got up to leave, Ayesha made a sign with her hand indicating to the Prophet that the woman was short. The Prophet immediately chastised her, saying, “You have backbitten”.
Despite this, we see how she continued to backbite, and in fact to an even more extreme level as recorded in Sunan Abu Daud, Book of Adab Book 41, Number 4857:
Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu’minin:
I said to the Prophet (s): It is enough for you in Safiyyah that she is such and such (the other version than Musaddad’s has:) meaning that she was short-statured. He replied; You have said a word which would change the sea if it were mixed in it. She said: I imitated a man before him (out of disgrace). He said: I do not like that I imitate anyone even if I should get such and such.
Whilst the word such and such is clearly an attempt to cover the word used it is clear that this was a very offensive word as Rasulullah (s) said it was so filthy that if thrown in to the sea it would contaminate the sea. A terminology so obscene that it would pollute the sea, epitomizes the extreme level of backbiting Ayesha exhibited in this instance.
It should also be pointed out that not only does Islam prevent individuals from backbiting, it also places a duty on believers to prevent others from doing so. Bilal Philips expounds on this point as follows:
“Only when the fear of Allaah becomes real and more powerful than the day-to-day fears will man rebel at the slightest thought of backbiting or gossip. One possessing this unique level of God consciousness would not even be able to listen to the backbiting of others without speaking out against it for the Prophet (s) said, “Whoever perceives an evil should prevent it with his hand, but if he is unable let him do so with his tongue and if he remains unable let him hate in his heart for that is the lowest form of Eeman”. Hence it is not sufficient for a Muslim to merely stop backbiting, he must also prevent others from doing so whenever possible or else he becomes an accomplice to the Haraam” [Tafseer Soorah al-Hujraath pages 106-107]
Whilst Philips opined that those that reach the high levels of taqwa are those that neither backbite themselves not tolerate others from doing so, Ayesha was clearly not at such an elevated point as she was an individual who not only partook in backbiting, but listened to it and even acted on it. We read in Sahih Bukhari Volume 8, Book 73, Number 98:
Narrated ‘Aisha:
(the wife of the Prophet) that she was told that ‘Abdullah bin Az-Zubair (on hearing that she was selling or giving something as a gift) said, “By Allah, if ‘Aisha does not give up this, I will declare her incompetent to dispose of her wealth.” I said, “Did he (‘Abdullah bin Az-Zubair) say so?” They (people) said, “Yes.” ‘Aisha said, “I vow to Allah that I will never speak to Ibn Az-Zubair.” When this desertion lasted long, ‘Abdullah bin Az-Zubair sought intercession with her, but she said, “By Allah, I will not accept the intercession of anyone for him, and will not commit a sin by breaking my vow.” When this state of affairs was prolonged on Ibn Az-Zubair (he felt it hard on him), he said to Al-Miswar bin Makhrama and ‘Abdur-Rahman bin Al-Aswad bin ‘Abu Yaghuth, who were from the tribe of Bani Zahra, “I beseech you, by Allah, to let me enter upon ‘Aisha, for it is unlawful for her to vow to cut the relation with me.” So Al-Miswar and ‘Abdur-Rahman, wrapping their sheets around themselves, asked ‘Aisha’s permission saying, “Peace and Allah’s Mercy and Blessings be upon you! Shall we come in?” ‘Aisha said, “Come in.” They said, “All of us?” She said, “Yes, come in all of you,” not knowing that Ibn Az-Zubair was also with them. So when they entered, Ibn Az-Zubair entered the screened place and got hold of ‘Aisha and started requesting her to excuse him, and wept. Al-Miswar and ‘Abdur Rahman also started requesting her to speak to him and to accept his repentance. They said (to her), “The Prophet forbade what you know of deserting (not speaking to your Muslim Brethren), for it is unlawful for any Muslim not to talk to his brother for more than three nights (days).” So when they increased their reminding her (of the superiority of having good relation with Kith and kin, and of excusing others’ sins), and brought her down to a critical situation, she started reminding them, and wept, saying, “I have made a vow, and (the question of) vow is a difficult one.” They (Al-Miswar and ‘Abdur-Rahman) persisted in their appeal till she spoke with ‘Abdullah bin Az-Zubair and she manumitted forty slaves as an expiation for her vow. Later on, whenever she remembered her vow, she used to weep so much that her veil used to become wet with her tears.
We can see from this tradition that that a group of individuals approached her and began backbiting about Ibn Zubair. Rather than fulfilling her religious duty to order the said individuals to refrain from such gossip, she acted on this backbiting and took the impromptu decision to vow to never speak to Ibn Zubair again, and in doing so went against a Hadith of the Prophet (s)! Rather than curtailing this backbiting Ayesha acted on it and in doing so she had in to quote Bilal Philips become an“accomplice to the Haraam”.
We appeal to justice; Ayesha the wife of the Prophet (s) was a recidivist backbiter and thus committed a major sin that has consequences in the next world. She also failed to take direct action to curtail backbiting that is also a sin. There is therefore no way that Ayesha can be compared to those wives of the Prophet (s) that did not.
Reply Six – Ayesha’s condemnation in the Quran is further proof that she was not the most superior wife of Rasulullah (s)
Some Ahl’ul Sunnah assert that since Ayesha was the most superior wife then that means that she was the most superior of all women. Not only is the claim that she was the most superior wife baseless, the fact of the matter is in Surah Tahreem (that we have discussed earlier) exposes her deceitful conduct against the Prophet (s). Had Aisha been the most superior wife there would be no grounds for her to lie and slander the Prophet (s) by questioning his hygiene during the honey plot. Moreover there would have been no need for Allah (swt) to vent his wrath by exposing her. No other wives have been exposed for their conduct, so how can Ayesha be presented as being superior to them? How can one exposed for a crooked heart, be greater than those that were not exposed. Moreover the verse states (066.005):
It may be, if he divorced you (all), that Allah will give him in exchange consorts better than you,- who submit (their wills), who believe, who are devout, who turn to Allah in repentance, who worship (in humility), who travel (for Faith) and fast,- previously married or virgins.
This clearly indicates that there were believing women among the Muslims who were much better than Ayesha. This also negates Ayesha’s own claim that her virgin status evidenced her superiority, in this verse Allah (swt) makes it clear that there existed in the Ummah, virgins who would be better wives for the Prophet (s) that Ayesha.
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